Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
