That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am midnight drunk by noon
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
