East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
