Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
