Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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