It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
