David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He passed out mid-signature
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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