The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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