I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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