I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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