Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
