I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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