Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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