I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
