Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
