i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
