So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I can't turn off my feet"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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