Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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