nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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