two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
