I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
