I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Drunk is a universal language darling
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