So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
