I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
