he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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