i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
