Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
