so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
