You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
