i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
