you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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