my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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