I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
