Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
