bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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