Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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