found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
