Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
