Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
