sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
