the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I have post one night stand depression
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