You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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