So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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