I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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