I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
