I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
