bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
