smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
