Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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