I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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